When your baby cries during the postpartum period, it can really get under your skin. This tiny being is in your arms, newly arrived in the world, and yet sometimes nothing seems to help: breastfeeding or feeding, carrying, changing, rocking, singing, closeness, quiet. It just keeps crying.
Many parents are shocked by how physically impactful a baby's cry can be. It's not just a sound. It goes through your entire body. It makes you alert, tense, helpless, sometimes even panicked. And especially in the postpartum period, when sleep is scarce, the body is healing, and everything is new, crying can quickly push you to your limits.
The most important guiding principle is: your baby isn't crying to manipulate you. It's crying because it needs you.
In this article, you'll find calm, practical, and undogmatic guidance: why babies cry in the postpartum period, what you can check first, what can help soothe them, the role of breastfeeding, feeding, changing, elimination communication, clothing, stimuli, and visitors – and when you absolutely should seek help.
Crying is a Baby's Language
A newborn cannot yet say: I'm hungry. I'm cold. I'm tired. I need to pee. It's all too much for me. I need your body. My tummy hurts. I just don't know how to calm down.
Crying is therefore not misbehavior. It is communication. Sometimes very clear communication, sometimes difficult to interpret. But always a signal: your baby needs support.
kindergesundheit-info.de describes baby crying as an expression of a need and emphasizes that crying is not "forcing" or manipulating, but a cry for help and support. You can find more information about baby crying at kindergesundheit-info.de.
Your baby might be crying because it:
- is hungry
- needs closeness
- is tired
- is overstimulated
- is cold or hot
- has a full diaper or a wet backup
- needs to pee or poop
- seeks physical contact
- feels abdominal pressure
- has pain or discomfort
- cannot calm down on its own
Sometimes you find the reason immediately. Sometimes you don't. That's normal too.
Baby Crying in the Postpartum Period is Especially Challenging
In the postpartum period, you are not at your usual strength. Perhaps you are sleeping little. Perhaps you are breastfeeding very frequently. Perhaps you have pain, afterpains, a C-section scar, birth injuries, or circulatory problems. Perhaps you are emotionally sensitive. Perhaps you feel responsible for everything.
Then baby crying can quickly become too much.
Crying can be particularly stressful if:
- you are very tired yourself
- you are experiencing physical pain
- you don't know what your baby needs
- you are worried about doing something wrong
- visitors are present or external pressure is felt
- breastfeeding or feeding is still uncertain
- you haven't had a break in a long time
- you feel solely responsible
Therefore, the question is not only: "How do I calm my baby?" But also: "How do we protect the parents so they can remain calm enough?"
You can find more about the first time at home here: The first days at home with baby.
The First Check: What Does Your Baby Need Right Now?
When your baby cries, a simple internal routine often helps. Not because babies operate on a checklist. But because it gives you guidance when you're feeling tense.
First, check:
- Is your baby hungry?
- Does it want to suckle, breastfeed, or be fed?
- Is the diaper, elimination communication diaper, or insert wet or full?
- Does your baby perhaps need to pee or poop?
- Is it too warm or too cold?
- Is clothing, cuffs, or the diaper too tight?
- Is your baby tired or overstimulated?
- Does it need physical contact?
- Does it seem sick, sluggish, or different than usual?
This list isn't meant to stress you out. It's meant to help you avoid feeling completely helpless.
Hunger and Closeness: Common Reasons for Crying
Especially in the first few days and weeks, babies often feed very frequently. Sometimes it seems like your baby is "already again" hungry. This can be confusing, especially if you previously thought babies feed every few hours and sleep in between.
In reality, many newborns are much more irregular. They seek closeness, suck for comfort, drink small amounts, fall asleep, wake up again, and want to return to the breast or bottle.
Signs of hunger can be:
- Rooting movements
- Smacking lips
- Sucking on hands
- Restlessness
- Moving head from side to side
- Crying as a later sign
If you are breastfeeding and unsure if your baby is getting enough, seek support early from a midwife, lactation consultant, pediatrician, or general practitioner. If you are bottle-feeding and have questions about quantity, preparation, or feeding behavior, the same applies.
More about setting up a prepared breastfeeding or feeding station can be found here: Setting up a breastfeeding station: What you really need in the postpartum period.
If your baby wants to feed very frequently in phases, you can find more in-depth information here: Cluster feeding in the postpartum period: When your baby constantly wants to feed.
If you are bottle-feeding or combining breastfeeding and bottle-feeding, read on here: Bottle-feeding in the postpartum period.
Overstimulation: When too much has happened
A newborn perceives the world unfiltered. Light, voices, smells, visitors, touch, diaper changes, dressing, hunger, digestion, temperature – all of this is new.
Some babies cry not because too little has happened, but because too much has happened.
Signs of overstimulation can be:
Then it can help:
Especially in the postpartum period, less is often more. Your baby doesn't need entertainment. It needs orientation.
You can find more about visitor boundaries here: Visitors in the postpartum period: How much closeness from outside is really good?.
Check Clothing and Temperature
Sometimes babies cry because they are too hot or too cold. Or because their clothes are uncomfortable. Especially in the first few weeks, a tight waistband, a twisted bodysuit, a restrictive diaper, or overly warm pajamas can be bothersome.
Check:
- Is the neck warm and dry?
- Is your baby sweaty?
- Is the bodysuit twisted?
- Is a cuff digging in?
- Is the diaper or elimination communication diaper comfortable?
- Are the feet or hands very cold and your baby simultaneously restless?
- Is there one layer too many or too few?
Soft, well-fitting clothing made from natural materials can make everyday life easier. Clothes that are easy to open and not unnecessarily complicated for changing diapers or elimination communication are particularly practical.
More about first baby clothes can be found here: What clothing does a newborn really need?.
More about material choices can be found here: Natural baby clothing: Wool, wool/Tencel, and cotton compared.
Diapering: Wet diaper, full diaper, uncomfortable backup
A full diaper or wet insert can bother a baby. Some babies react very strongly to it, others barely at all. In the postpartum period, you're just getting to know how your baby expresses itself.
Diapering can therefore be a good first check. At the same time, some babies don't like getting undressed and having their diaper changed. In that case, it helps to keep the changing area warm, quiet, and well-prepared.
Helpful for diapering:
- have everything ready beforehand
- don't undress the baby for unnecessarily long
- speak softly
- use soft cloths or water
- choose clothing that is easily accessible
- apply diaper, backup, or insert comfortably
If your baby often cries during diaper changes, it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. Many babies don't like the change in temperature, position, or getting dressed and undressed at first.
More about the changing station can be found here: Setting up a changing station: What you really need.
For small changing situations on the sofa, bed, or on the go, a compact changing mat can also help: Portable changing mat.
Crying and Elimination Communication: Your baby might need to go to the bathroom
If you want to try elimination communication, crying or fussiness can sometimes be a signal: Your baby needs to pee or poop. Not always. But sometimes.
Especially newborns often don't show elimination needs in the way adults expect. They become restless, kick their legs, latch and unlatch, strain, look focused, fuss, or cry.
An offer to eliminate can be appropriate:
- after waking up
- during diaper changes
- after breastfeeding or feeding
- when your baby is restlessly kicking
- if it seems unhappy despite a dry diaper
- if you have a feeling it "needs to go"
Important: If nothing comes, it's not a failure. If your baby continues to cry, elimination communication wasn't the solution. Then you keep looking. Elimination communication isn't meant to stress you out, but to be another means of communication.
For an easy start, these help:
- elimination communication diaper as a backup
- absorbent inserts
- easy-to-open clothing
- changing mat
- calm standard situations
- no pressure to recognize everything
Suitable items can be found here: Elimination communication diapers, diaper inserts, elimination communication pants and the portable changing mat.
If you want to learn more about elimination communication, you can start here: What does elimination communication from birth actually mean?.
If you want to know what you really need to get started, read on here: Elimination communication starter kit: What you really need.
Abdominal Pressure and Digestion
Many parents quickly suspect "tummy ache" when their baby cries. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes it's more about overstimulation, tiredness, hunger, or the need to eliminate. From the outside, it's not always easy to distinguish.
If your baby is straining, wriggling, pulling its legs up, or is restless after feeding, gentle support can help.
Gentle options can be:
- holding the baby upright
- giving it time after feeding
- calmly carrying it
- offering a burp
- gentle closeness
- warmth through skin-to-skin contact
- offering elimination communication, if it seems appropriate
Please do not give your baby medication, teas, or remedies on your own. If you have the impression that your baby is in pain, not feeding well, vomiting, has a fever, diarrhea, or seems unusual, seek professional advice.
More on this can be found here: Baby has tummy ache in the postpartum period: What really helps.
Spitting up after feeding
Some babies cry or become restless when milk comes back up after feeding, when air is pressing, or when they feel unwell. A little spitting up can occur in everyday baby life. Nevertheless, you should pay close attention if your baby seems very distressed by it.
Helpful can be:
- allow time after feeding
- hold the baby calmly and upright
- have burp cloths at hand
- don't hastily change clothes if it's not necessary
- seek professional advice for severe spitting up, pain, or poor weight gain
More on this can be found here: Baby spits up after feeding: What really helps in the postpartum period.
Tired but can't fall asleep
Many babies cry when they're tired. At the same time, they often can't fall asleep on their own at first. This is not a fault. Sleep regulation only develops over time.
A tired baby often needs support: closeness, holding, carrying, dimmed lights, fewer stimuli, repetition.
When tired, it can help to:
If you are very tired yourself, pay special attention to safety. Do not fall asleep with your baby on the sofa or in an unsafe position. Put your baby down safely or ask another person to take over.
More about the night can be found here: Dressing baby at night: What does a newborn need for sleep?.
If your baby only sleeps in your arms, you can find a suitable in-depth article here: Baby only sleeps in your arms in the postpartum period.
Soothing: What you can try
There isn't one single method that soothes every baby. Some babies love being carried. Others need breastfeeding or sucking. Some calm down with movement. Others with fewer stimuli. Some just need time in your arms.
The important thing is not to frantically jump from one method to the next. Babies don't just sense the action, but also the restlessness surrounding it.
Soothing can mean:
kindergesundheit-info.de recommends reducing stimuli for persistent crying, involving support if needed, and seeking help when overwhelmed. Further information can be found at kindergesundheit-info.de: When babies cry a lot.
Carrying and Skin-to-Skin Contact
Many babies calm down through physical contact. Your body is warm, familiar, moves, smells like you, and provides orientation. This applies to the mother as well as the co-parent.
Carrying can be especially helpful if your baby doesn't want to be put down or if you need both hands. In the postpartum period, however, carrying should also be appropriate for the mother's physical condition – especially after a C-section or birth injuries.
Practical is:
More about clothing in a carrier can be found here: Dressing baby in the carrier: What does your baby really need?.
If nothing works: It's not your fault
Sometimes a baby continues to cry even after you've checked everything. It has been fed, is clean, warm, close to you, carried, swaddled, offered a potty, gently soothed — and still cries.
This is very difficult to endure. But it doesn't automatically mean you're doing something wrong.
Some babies take longer to adjust to the world. Some have intense crying phases. Some are difficult to soothe. The important thing is that you don't go through this alone.
If you feel like you can't cope anymore:
- place your baby safely down
- leave the room briefly if necessary
- take a deep breath
- call your partner, family, friend, or neighbor
- contact your midwife, pediatrician's office, or a counseling center
- get help before you reach your breaking point
It's better to safely put your baby down and take a short break than to continue feeling completely overwhelmed.
Never shake a baby
It must be said clearly: Never shake your baby. Not even briefly. Not even out of desperation. Not even to "calm them down." Shaking can cause severe injuries and be life-threatening for babies.
If you feel like you're about to lose control, safely put your baby down and get help immediately. You're not the first person to reach their limit with crying. But you must take this moment seriously.
kindergesundheit-info.de explains why shaking is so dangerous for a baby and can cause severe permanent damage or even death. You can find more information at kindergesundheit-info.de: Why is shaking so dangerous for a baby? as well as in the film Never shake – when babies won't stop crying.
Your partner is not just a spectator
When a baby cries a lot, the mother doesn't just need good advice. She needs relief. The partner or second caregiver should actively step in — not just when everything escalates.
Your partner can:
- carry the baby
- change diapers
- offer a potty
- bring water and food
- cancel visitors
- take the baby out briefly
- contact the midwife or pediatrician's office
- let the mother sleep
- consciously take over during crying phases
A crying baby is not automatically "Mom's job." It's a family situation.
You can find more on this here: Partners in the postpartum period: What really helps after birth.
If you are alone
If you are alone with a crying baby, the situation can feel particularly overwhelming. In that case, preparation is important: phone numbers, reachable people, a clear emergency strategy.
Have ready:
- your midwife's phone number
- pediatrician's office
- emergency number
- a person you can contact even at night
- contact information for Early Help services or a counseling center
- a list: What do I do when I can't cope anymore?
This preparation doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're taking responsibility.
You can find more on organizing help here: Organizing help in the postpartum period: What really provides relief after birth.
When crying should be professionally assessed
Sometimes crying is an expression of a normal need. But sometimes it indicates pain, illness, a feeding problem, or another distress. If you are unsure, it's better to ask too early than too late.
Please seek professional advice if:
- your baby cries very shrilly, differently, or inconsolably
- fever develops
- your baby is not feeding well
- your baby seems unusually drowsy or apathetic
- vomiting, diarrhea, or other symptoms appear
- you suspect pain
- your baby has hardly any wet diapers
- you have a feeling: Something is not right
- you yourself can no longer tolerate the crying
Your gut feeling counts. And professional help is not only allowed when things are dramatic.
Crying baby, crying clinic, and early help
Some babies cry a lot and are difficult to soothe. This can be extremely exhausting for parents. If you feel that your baby cries excessively or you yourself are increasingly reaching your limits, seek support.
Crying clinics, counseling centers, pediatricians, midwives, and early help services can be important points of contact. You don't have to wait until you completely break down.
gesund.bund.de points out that some babies cry for particularly long periods and are difficult to soothe, and recommends seeking help in good time, for example, through a pediatrician's office or crying clinics. You can find more information at gesund.bund.de: Support for families after birth.
Reduce visitors if your baby cries a lot
When your baby cries a lot, visitors are often not a relief — unless they genuinely help. People who just look at the baby, give advice, or expect to be entertained usually make the situation harder.
During intense crying phases, visitors can wait.
Helpful visitor rules:
- no visits without prior arrangement
- short visits
- no one comes when sick
- visitors bring food
- no unsolicited advice
- baby is not passed around
- visitors leave when the baby or mother needs rest
A good phrase to use is:
"Our baby is having intense days right now. We need peace and quiet and will let you know when a visit works."
You can find more about visitors during the postpartum period here: Visitors during the postpartum period: How much external closeness really helps.
Baby crying with a sibling
When there's a sibling, baby crying becomes even more challenging. The older child might get scared, become jealous, need attention themselves, or also get loud.
Preparation helps here too.
You can tell the older child:
- "The baby is crying because it can't speak yet."
- "It's not your fault."
- "I'll take care of the baby for a moment and then I'll be with you."
- "You can cover your ears."
- "You don't have to soothe the baby."
If possible, a second person should accompany the older child when the baby cries for a long time. This way, the mother doesn't have to emotionally support both at the same time.
You can find more on this here: Postpartum with a sibling: What really helps you.
After a C-section: Crying can be particularly physically taxing
After a C-section, baby crying can be especially difficult. You might want to pick up your baby immediately, but every movement hurts. Perhaps you can't carry well, get up quickly, or need help reaching for things.
In this situation, support is even more important.
Helpful after a C-section:
- place the baby within reach
- partner hands the baby to you
- prepare the breastfeeding or feeding area well
- delegate diaper changes as much as possible
- let partner take over potty offers
- strictly limit visitors
- take pain and exhaustion seriously
You can find more on this here: Postpartum after a C-section: What really helps you.
What usually doesn't help
When a baby cries, everyone wants a quick solution. This can sometimes lead to things that just add more stress.
Often unhelpful are:
- constantly switching methods
- passing the baby from arm to arm
- many people simultaneously around the baby
- unsolicited advice
- loud distractions
- blame
- making the mother solely responsible
- letting the baby cry even though it needs closeness
- ignoring one's own overwhelm
Babies don't always need more. Often they need less: less light, fewer voices, less pressure, fewer changes — and more calm closeness.
What parents need during crying phases
If your baby cries a lot, not only does your baby need help. You need it too.
Parents need:
- relief
- food
- water
- sleep opportunities
- someone to listen
- practical support
- professional assessment
- permission not to accomplish everything alone
A well-cared-for mother, an involved partner, and a protected postpartum period don't automatically reduce crying. But they make it more bearable.
More on food and support during the postpartum period can be found here: Preparing postpartum food and here: Organizing help during the postpartum period.
A simple checklist for when your baby cries
First baby check
- Hungry?
- Needs closeness?
- Tired?
- Overstimulated?
- Too warm or too cold?
- Diaper, backup, or insert full?
- Possibility of pee or poop?
- Clothing uncomfortable?
- Sick or different than usual?
What you can try
- breastfeed or bottle-feed
- hold
- skin-to-skin contact
- change diaper
- offer a potty
- check clothing
- dim the lights
- carry
- hum softly
- fresh air, if appropriate
If you can't cope anymore
- put the baby down safely
- take a short break
- never shake the baby
- call partner or another person
- contact midwife or pediatrician's office
- get immediate help in acute danger
For elimination communication or potty training
- offer during diaper changes
- offer after waking up
- offer after breastfeeding or feeding
- use backup diapers
- no pressure if nothing happens
Frequent Questions: Baby Cries in the Postpartum Period
Why does my baby cry so much in the postpartum period?
Babies cry because they are expressing needs. Common reasons include hunger, need for closeness, tiredness, overstimulation, temperature, a full diaper, need to eliminate, abdominal pressure, or discomfort. Sometimes the reason cannot be immediately identified.
Is my baby manipulative if it cries constantly?
No. A newborn does not manipulate. It cannot yet communicate its needs in any other way. Crying is a cry for help and support.
What can I do if my baby won't stop crying?
Check for hunger, diaper, temperature, clothing, tiredness, stimuli, and possible elimination. Hold your baby close, reduce stimuli, and ask for relief if you are exhausted. If you are unsure or your baby seems unusual, seek professional advice.
Can crying be a sign that my baby needs to pee or poop?
Yes, sometimes. Some babies become restless or cry before eliminating. You can offer a potty during diaper changes, after waking up, or after feeding. If nothing comes, that's okay.
What do I do if I get angry from being overwhelmed?
Place your baby down safely, leave the room briefly, take a deep breath, and get immediate support. Never shake your baby. Anger and overwhelm can happen, but safety comes first.
When should I take a crying baby to the doctor?
If your baby cries shrilly or differently, has a fever, is feeding poorly, seems unusually drowsy, is vomiting, has diarrhea, has hardly any wet diapers, appears to be in pain, or you have an uneasy feeling, you should seek professional advice.
What is a crying clinic?
A crying clinic or specialized counseling center supports parents whose baby cries a lot, sleeps poorly, or is difficult to soothe. Pediatricians, midwives, or early help services can also be points of contact.
Should you let a baby cry?
A newborn needs response and closeness. It cries because it needs support. If you are overwhelmed, you may safely put your baby down briefly and get help. That is different from letting it cry alone.
What helps parents when the baby cries a lot?
Relief, food, water, sleep, fewer visitors, clear division of tasks, professional assessment, and people who don't judge but offer concrete relief.
A calm thought to conclude
When your baby cries in the postpartum period, it doesn't mean you're failing. It means your baby is communicating something — sometimes clearly, sometimes mysteriously, sometimes loudly and for a long time.
You don't have to understand every cry immediately. You don't always have to find the perfect answer. You also don't have to handle everything alone.
You may check. Breastfeed or bottle-feed. Change diapers. Offer a potty. Adjust clothing. Reduce stimuli. Carry. Breathe. Call your partner. Ask the midwife. Accept help.
And you should remember: Even good parents reach their limits.
Especially then, perfection doesn't count. Safety does. Putting your baby down safely when you can't cope anymore. Never shaking. Getting help. Coming back.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is not to try yet another calming method. But to say:
I need support now.
This also aligns with Mata Origin's philosophy: Starting the baby year naturally doesn't mean perfectly understanding every signal immediately. It means combining closeness, protection, natural materials, simple routines, and support in a way that nurtures both parents and baby.
If you want to accompany your baby with practical cuts, soft materials, and an undogmatic approach to diapering, elimination communication, and closeness, Mata Origin offers thoughtful companions for this initial period.
Discover suitable products for the postpartum period, diapering, and elimination communication: elimination communication diapers, diaper inserts, elimination communication pants, and the travel changing mat.
Note: This article does not replace medical, psychological, or midwifery advice. It is intended to provide guidance. If your baby cries shrilly, differently, or inconsolably, has a fever, is feeding poorly, seems unusually drowsy or apathetic, is vomiting, has diarrhea, has hardly any wet diapers, appears to be in pain, or you have an uneasy feeling, please contact your midwife, pediatrician, or emergency medical service. If you are afraid of losing control, safely put your baby down and get help immediately. Never shake your baby. In case of acute severe symptoms or danger to mother or baby, contact emergency services immediately.
